Addictions

I have jumped back on the Stop Smoking bandwagon again. I began wearing a patch on Sunday. I smoked yesterday but I only smoked 5. I was feeling really bad about it but realized when I smoked only one it made it easier to smoke the next one. So I have to remember that just one is one too many and I Can Not have it and be a quitter. Becca it doesn't work that way. Today I have lit a butt but no whole one and am not going to smoke today.

What is different than a few weeks ago when I tried? I am working on a different attitude. I have determined that dealing with something like cigarette addiction must be dealt with like any other addiction. Ok. I've had other addictions in my life. I was very over weight wearing a size 22 and now I am a 12. I conquered the overeating challenge/addiction. I have had addictions over the years with prescription drugs and street drugs. Hey - don't get me wrong and judge me ok. I am not a junkie and I didn't do anything real bad. I have conquered those addictions. Cigarettes are no different. They must fall into the same wastebasket that the other addictions are in. There are addictions of all kinds and they all present a challenge when trying to stop. No one can do this but me. Each time I want one I am choosing to not smoke one. I realize that I probably will always want just one and that is deceiving in that I cannot have just one.

I am also making a conscious effort to be thankful. I am thankful for the addictions - I will be a stronger and wiser person from it. I am thankful for the slow traffic this morning. It might have saved me from a bad accident. (I am not a patient driver when I have some where to be - like work. Gotta change that). I will be looking for things and adversities to be thankful for. If I can find myself with a gentler heart and more thankful attitude, I think my success is more likely to happen. Having a thankful heart will make all the difference.

Here's to being positive. I am stopping smoking and that is MY CHOICE. I choose it.

This and That Weekend

Darnit! I can't get this dang cursor at the top of my post. I hate blogger sometime.

Check out this new garden cart I bought. It was only $19 and it is the best investment I've gotten all summer. It will haul up to 250# and that is a lot. It is perfect for picking up sticks and just plain perfect for my needs. Came from Ace Hardware.

In spite of the heat I managed to get out and get some things done this weekend. I cut limbs from all of my huge shrubs and small trees and ya'll know how big my place is. Wow what a difference cutting limbs can make. Now I have to get my keester back out to pick them up which is the chore I hate most. If I didn't have to clean up my messes I probably would do more.

This flowerbed received a cleaning out. I have tired of the zinnias taking up all the space and branching out all over the place so I pulled them up in this bed. You can see all the space I have now. Getting ready to put out more stuff but may end up waiting till Sept. Putting new plants into the ground this time of year with the heat being what it is this year, the plants just will not do well.

The small plant to the left is a Sarah Bernhardt Peony that became shadowed by the zinnias. Since it didn't do anything this year I probably will move it. Hey gardeners out there would it be wise to move it or leave it where it is. It is not receiving much sun - maybe the middle of the day or late afternoon. This is my first peony.

The cleome did beautifully. I love the soft spidery like tentacles on the flowers.

I was surprised to find this new geranium producing a new flower. I recently planted 2 new geraniums probably 3 weeks ago. They are puny due to the heat and dry conditions.

This is one of the best performers this year. I thought the okra hibuscus had given out 3 weeks ago and low and behold they have budded out again and going for another round.

I am seeing an abundance of butterfly's. I have yet to stand outside waiting for one to light in this heat so just know they are there. Milkweed is performing beautifully. All of the milkweed are budding and flowering now.

This particular display of vincas have really outdone itself. Usually vincas are a little finicky if they get too dry and hot or too much sun but this one hasn't missed a beat. It has been flowering since the end of May when it was planted and doesn't seem affected by the heat. Others purchased since then have struggled to survive.

Portulaca starting to bloom again. I think this plant is getting too much sun.

Ya'll know how I feel about begonias now. They are super performers.

The heat - OH THE HEAT is on isn't it. Everywhere it is hot. We are experiencing temps in the 100 degree range maybe a few degrees over 100 with heat index of 115. Dangerously hot. Relief is coming at the end of the week when the highs will be back at a seasonable 92. Never thought I'd be glad to see 92.

I haven't given up on the stopping smoking. I am working myself up again and reforming my strategy.

I just want to say how much I truly appreciate all of you blogger friends and the kind words of encouragement. You all are the BEST. It is your encouragement that will help me to succeed and yes I EXPECT to be SUCCESSFUL.

Have a good day everyone.

I Failed in my Attempt

This is hard. The nicotine patch and gum works well. I just caved last night. I am a 40 year smoker and cigarettes has become my friend. I know it isn't a good friend. I have to get my mind reset with a new strategy. I am not giving up.