Wednesday, November 25, 2009

I'm a Survivor.

Have you ever been uneasy/frightened in your own home. I am experiencing that right now. My neighbor across the road was broke into yesterday. There are only 4 houses on my little street - 2 on each side. My house is at the end with woods on the back and side of my house. The neighbor called me last night to tell me this. Wouldn't ya know that Little Buddy would be barking as though something was there both last night and this morning.

You see this is the first 'house' I have lived in alone since I was attacked on Dec 8, 2003. And the dog I had at that time also carried on barking. It was then that I also lived at the end of a road.

I have never been one to live my life in fear. After the attack I was very uncomfortable going out or anywhere for that matter. I felt like someone was watching me. Well I had gotten over those feelings and was feeling very comfortable and and unafraid until this happened yesterday. It brings home just how vulnerable I/we are.

On that day Dec 8, 2003 everything was normal till I walked my dog that evening. It was dark when I arrived home and took 'Trip' outside for his duties. Someone had eased to the stop sign and paused enough to make me uncomfortable. I turned and went straight into my house and never gave it another thought. That night Trip was barking and carrying on and I did hear some noises but it was windy that night. At 1:30am I heard a terrible noise at my bedroom window and turned to look at this black silouette in my window - I screamed and he put a hand over my mouth with a knife to my throat. He raped and robbed me that night. This nearly destroyed me but I am not a victim - I'm a survivor. I Am A Survivor. What I later learned is that this person killed his next victim. I was able to ID this 22 year old kid and after nearly 3 years of waiting on trial to take place he pleaded guilty at the last minute. He is serving life for his crime against me and also life without parole for the murder.

Can you see how uneasy I am feeling now. I don't really believe that someone is going to attack me again but I wasn't fearful then either. I do however intend to purchase me a small handgun. That would make me feel a little bit better.

Sorry guys to post something like this the day before Thanksgiving - but this is happening at Thanksgiving. I am going to keep a positive attitude and will not let this spoil my holiday. I refuse to live in fear.

26 comments:

Milah said...

Oh my gosh, how terrible that must have been... and why wouldn't you be a little edge-y? My goodness I would be!
Besides buying a gun, I would also install lights that detect motion, even in the house. And Pray!
I hope you have a Happy and Fearless Thanksgiving.
Blessings!

Sue @ Not the Good Scissors! said...

Becca, thank you for stopping by. I have been so neglectful of my blog friends these last few weeks. I have been so busy at work and busy in my sewing room getting ready for all of my craft shows.

I am so sorry that you are having to deal with the incident with your neighbor. I think we all feel vulnerable at times. In your situation you are feeling extremely vulnerable, and rightfully so.

10 years ago a co-worker who I had worked with for 7 years, was 8 1/2 months pregnant. When she did not show up to work, we thought she was having her baby. Instead we received a call at work that she and her 3 year old son had been murdered. It has taken me many years to even be able to discuss this without shaking and hyperventilating. I can assure you that I have never reacted like that about anything. This event shook me to the core. I thought I would never find peace again. Eventually my feelings have settled down and I can now finally deal with it. But it would not take much to allow this event to knock me off my feet again.

Becca, please know that we are here and if you need to write about this again we understand.

Happy Thanksgiving
Hugs, Sue

bennie and patsy said...

Get an alarm system if you can please but call now and have the police do ex patrols.
Happy Thanksgiving
Patsy

Catherine@AGardenerinProgress said...

Becca, I'm so sorry to read this. I'm sure you must be feeling scared. I would also ask the police to be doing extra patrols.
You are a survivor and a very strong person. I'm sorry you had to go through such an awful thing. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers that you will feel, and be safe in your home.
Catherine

FlowerLady said...

Oh my gosh Becca ~ What a horrible experience for you to have gone through. My heart goes out to you that you've had to relive this once again because of the break in yesterday at your neighbor's.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

FlowerLady

Debbie's Garden said...

I cannot imagine how you must be feeling after hearing this news. I'm so heartbroken about your story. Considering the other woman, you were so lucky. Who can say why. I hope this doesnt put you in a tailspin. Stay a strong survivor. I can only imagine it takes prayers every day from you to be so strong.

Darla said...

I'll say this is quite fitting for the Thanksgiving Holiday. I am thankful that you are a survivor and that you are standing strong. I pray God's hedge of protection around you and your home, and peace that surpasses understanding flood your mind, in Jesus' Name..

Tamara Jansen said...

You are truly inspirational in your conviction to move on! One amazing lady :)

Star said...

So sorry to hear of your past experiences and that you are frightened right now. It is unlikely that this will happen to you again but I can understand why you are uneasy. A dog is probably the best thing to have to serve as an alarm and protection. A gun is ok so long as they don't use it on you! Make sure you lock the doors and you will be just fine.
Happy Thanksgiving for tomorrow.
Blessings, Star

Chicken Boys said...

I am sorry to hear that. I will keep you in my prayers. I'd encourage the hand gun. Mike and I keep one in the house, and the .22 magnum rifle is never far. Nor is the machete or golf club. Might sound strange for a guy, but I moved out of a bad neighborhood where drugs were often sold in front of my apartment, and police seldom responded to calls about the frequent gun shots. We feel much better in our new home, but better safe than sorry. Take care, girl.

This Is My Blog - fishing guy said...

Becca: That is certainly a sad thing to work with. Let us hope that the break-in was random and they will never be back.

Dirt Princess said...

Oh no! I can't past the nerve of some people! I am proufd of you for doing this post, and opening up about things that have made you stringer, and the person you are today. We have discussed it in the past, and it still sends chills down my spine. I will be honest, I teared up when I realized you were writing about it, and having the heard the story...I am just blown away by your courage and strength. You are an inspiration to women everywhere!

Lord help the idiot who breaks into this house! We have an entire aresenal. Don't break into people homes that hunt...not a good idea. I have 16 rounds for them, and more than likely they will not be leaving the way they came in, but in a bag. I have had scares in the past, and I hope I never have to pull the trigger. I hate that you had to go through that the other night, and all of your neighbors. It is such a quiet place up there!

BeautifulWreck said...

(((HUGS)))

It is so hard not to live in fear. My brother was kidnapped and murdered in broad daylight in downtown Mobile. It took a long time for me to have a normal life.

You are a SURVIVOR!!! And I am so glad you are here with us!

However, take precautions. Be careful who you let come to your home, etc.
My nephew was robbed and shot this morning in his apartment. He thought he was opening the door to friends. Luckily he is alive!

Thinking about you!

Kirsty said...

It must have been so hard for you then. And must bring back a lot of memories. I hope you stay safe.

You are a survivor and I'm glad you feel comfortable sharing with everyone. It's also probably very therapeutic for you.

Happy and Safe Thanksgiving.

Kirsten

RainGardener said...

Becca I'm so sorry to hear what you have been through - it sent chills down my spine but like you said you are a survivor - good for you. And you certainly do not need to apologize for this post. Our hearts go out to you and you will be in our prayers for safety. What a survivor you must be to have endured all of this and still stand strong.

Becky said...

Bless your heart, I am so sorry for what happened to you. I am glad you have not let that take you down. That takes ALOT of strength and you should be so proud of yourself. I could understand your uneasiness after that. Hubby has a gun and I did not want him to get one but, I do feel safer with it and I try to keep my cell phone at arms length.

Praying for you!

Betsy from Tennessee said...

Oh Becca. I am so sorry for what you have been through --but I'm also so very proud of you for your wonderful attitude. You are truly a survivor. You have a story to tell--and you should work with others who have been through what you have.

I hope the recent area burglary won't affect you. I'll keep you in my prayers.

Hold onto your strong faith, Becca. You are such an inspiration.

God Bless You. Hope you DO have a wonderful Thanksgiving.
Hugs and Prayers,
Betsy

Daisy said...

Becca, I'm so sorry to hear about your past traumatic experience and about this latest unsettling event. I admire your strength in facing down your fears and at being a survivor. Wishing you peace.

Far Side of Fifty said...

Hi Becca, I am so sorry that you were raped..but you survived..you were strong. YOU ARE STRONG!
I would be afraid too..and probably install an alarm system and go to a self defense class. Buddy will bark too..lots of time that is enough to discourage thieves. By all means get a hand gun..can you shoot it..that is the question you have to ask yourself..I have one..and yes I will shoot..possibly even more than once.
Happy Thanksgiving my friend:)

Rosemary said...

Becca; Your story is indeed sad but the fact you live alone, have gotten on with your life, living unafraid not letting one horrible incident beat you down is to be commended........survivor you certainly are..If my dog is barking unusually I will be looking for the reason.
Our home was broken into some years ago, no one home, and we did get an alarm system ,helped relieve my feeling of being violated scared... we also installed motion lights outside.
Hopefully this is an isolated incident and you have a good Thanksgiving.

Marilyn Jones said...

Oh Becca! I'm sorry for the awful experience you've had in violence. Please, get security lights and also ask the police for added surveliance. Prepare! Be strong! You are a survivor!
I'll keep you in my prayers.

ddalliance said...

This is the first time I've visited your site and what a riveting story. I can't imagine living through such a thing and going forward to repair my life. You truly are a survivor. Do you feel that a gun would have helped you in your situation?

Thank you for sharing this experience. So brave. Best wishes.

Ginger said...

Becca,
I'm so sorry you had this awful experience. You are very brave and definitely "a survivor."

This story has inspired me to get up and go lock the door right now. There are little things we can do (like listening to our dogs) that can save lives.

Ginger

Vetsy said...

Dear, Becca..I'm glad that you decided to not allow fear to paralyze you and that you have taken steps to make yourself feel safer..Good for you.

Marydon Ford said...

Becca ~ I am so sad that you had to endure this sad experience ... but you have learned not to be the victim living in fear. The police will step up patrols if you give them a call, sweetie.

I hope things have settled down for you, & you enjoyed the holiday. I shall say a prayer that you are protected.

Follow me on my new blog ... had issues with the old one.

blushingrosetoo.blogspot.com

We are having a huge GIVEAWAY ending Dec. lst.
Hugs, Marydon

Corner Gardener Sue said...

It seems odd that you would have a neighbor's home get broken into around the same time of year of your horrible attack. I wonder if God placed you there for you and your neighbor to be a comfort to each other, and to form a bit of a neighborhood watch. Have you gotten to know each other?

I'm glad you didn't have to go through a trial.